Police Citations FUNNY!!! - Yamaha R1 Forum: YZF-R1 Forums
Off Topic Talk All off-topic posts. Music, Sports, Movies, Humor, etc... (No NWS)

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 03:00 PM Thread Starter
Last Minute Racing
 
Super_Dave_344's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Marion Ohio
Posts: 970
Send a message via Yahoo to Super_Dave_344
Police Citations FUNNY!!!

Hey Scott (GPD270) you ever use any of these?? lol I love the last one


These 16 Police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the
country:


Police Giving Citations:


16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile."

14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document·"

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."


6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

5. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

4. "How big WERE those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

2. "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS...

1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Proud member of TEAM SFSC

bike mods: Full akro carbon race system,PC3,ignition module,BMC Race filter,smog plates,Steal braided lines,puge smoked shield,frame sliders,Hyper Pro damper,greggs flush mount front signals


RIP Chad GAWarrior 6-25-08 SFSC for Life

2001 Honda XR 50f pit bike
2005 Yamaha Zuma Scooter
2006 Yam R6 (50th annivesery Yellow)
2008 Yam WR 250f off road bike
1983 HD XR 1000 (factory dirt tracker)
Super_Dave_344 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 03:48 PM
S.O.S
 
mcquade72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Minot, ND
Posts: 880
Send a message via Yahoo to mcquade72
Awesome!
mcquade72 is offline  
post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 05:54 PM
mmmmmmhmmmmm....
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,331
can i toss a personall one in there??....80 in a 60 trooper got me....got my licence said "mr. trump" i said "ya" leo "any related to donald"? i said no, he said " your gonna wish you were".... 5 minutes and 600 bucks later lmao....these are classic thanks for the laugh man!!!
62646 is offline  
post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 05:56 PM
I eat my R1
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: texas
Posts: 5,817
Send a message via AIM to TheSoonerKid Send a message via Yahoo to TheSoonerKid
TheSoonerKid is offline  
post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 05:57 PM Thread Starter
Last Minute Racing
 
Super_Dave_344's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Marion Ohio
Posts: 970
Send a message via Yahoo to Super_Dave_344
WOW!! 80 in a 60 and it cost you $600??? why so much?

Proud member of TEAM SFSC

bike mods: Full akro carbon race system,PC3,ignition module,BMC Race filter,smog plates,Steal braided lines,puge smoked shield,frame sliders,Hyper Pro damper,greggs flush mount front signals


RIP Chad GAWarrior 6-25-08 SFSC for Life

2001 Honda XR 50f pit bike
2005 Yamaha Zuma Scooter
2006 Yam R6 (50th annivesery Yellow)
2008 Yam WR 250f off road bike
1983 HD XR 1000 (factory dirt tracker)
Super_Dave_344 is offline  
post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 06:00 PM
Forum Moderator
 
GPD270's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Greenville NC
Posts: 32,431
Send a message via AIM to GPD270
LOL..... Yes I must admit that I have used several of those..... Some of them I have never heard of. I bet Al has some good ones to.



GPD270
CCS #270
Trackdays Kickass!!!!!!

RIP Kelly Brown----- K_Flexx 15 June 2006
RIP Crazyclimber----- 4 March 2007
God Speed Glenn(Elvis) We love you! We miss you! 17 June 2007
Chad "GAWarrior" Clifton -- 25 June 08
Kevin "VMAN1300" Varner -- 26 March 09
I miss you guys.


2012 Deals Gap Convention!!!! Dont miss out!
2012 R1 Forum Trackday!!! Be there!

IRISH RACING



So Fast So Clean
GPD270 is offline  
post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 06:01 PM
R1 Addiction
 
Klo1320's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 16,596
the last one is great



I need some of those stickers that make my bike faster.......



Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.



Klo1320 is offline  
post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 06:03 PM
mmmmmmhmmmmm....
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,331
80 ina 60....i think he was having a bad day said he already got lik 7-8 of us
"sportbikers"that day...nailed me for neglegent driving 2nd degree....pretty much a bummer i just paid it and moved on.
62646 is offline  
post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 08:51 PM
Drink Sparks, Die Young.
 
Grey Ghost R1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Bloomington, IN
Posts: 1,728
Aren't you supposed to wait till you get pulled over to fellate a cop?
Grey Ghost R1 is offline  
post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 08:55 PM
My R1 is trying to kill me....
 
R1_test pilot's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Surrey, CANADA
Posts: 384
Send a message via MSN to R1_test pilot
LMFAO @ #1.....

Member of P.E.T.A.

People Eating Tasty Animals


It takes an R1 to catch an R1.......
R1_test pilot is offline  
post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 09:07 PM
R1's are slower
 
scoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Monroe, Georgia
Posts: 54
Send a message via Yahoo to scoose

-Steve
scoose is offline  
post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 09:14 PM
//Low-Life\\
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Dalton Ga.
Posts: 24,812
All of them are funny..
Wheat is offline  
post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-10-2007, 09:20 PM
Motorcycling Mick
 
j95supratt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: near Los Angeles
Posts: 354
Those were funny, the one about outrunning a bullet is retarded though. I would have bitched him out royally for that one.

"Oh, gee, he tried to run, so I fu*cking SHOT him!"...seriously, give me a break, that's just idiotic. Act like a God damned professional.

"Dear Men, why do none of you know how to please a woman?" - Um, because no man has a dick made of chocolate which ejaculates money...
j95supratt is offline  
post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-11-2007, 07:32 AM
ELWOOD
 
jray02r1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: eau claire, wi
Posts: 5,149

SIG COURTESY OF BUDDYLUV
TEAM: NO FAST NO LEAN
TEAM: INFRACTIONS UP AND COMER
RIP Chad "Gawarrior" Clifton...you will be missed
jray02r1 is offline  
post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-11-2007, 07:48 AM
Shane loves........me
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10,203
Captain Squid is offline  
post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-11-2007, 08:19 AM
I eat my R1
 
Skipper08's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,145
15, 13, 12, 10, 8, 6, 5, 1

Funny

AMA PRO SuperBike

Sponsors: SBK PRO Race Team, SOLOSON Import, MIN. deporte, Otalora Racing, Dainese, AGV, Leo Vince, Chicken Hawk Racing, RK Chains

Official site: www.GusSanchez300.com
Skipper08 is offline  
post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-11-2007, 11:44 AM
I eat my R1
 
ChrisYZFR1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Santa Barbara County, Ca.
Posts: 1,613
My favorite
Violator: "I will see you in court"
Response: "I know you will I just made you an appointment"

Other favorite
Violator: "Cant I just get a warning"
Response: "You past your warning 3 miles back at 84 miles per hour"
ChrisYZFR1 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Yamaha R1 Forum: YZF-R1 Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
2 Buffalo Police Officers Shot BigPoppa Off Topic Talk 26 12-07-2006 08:28 AM
Mother of three killed, police seek drivers cerda General Motorcycle Discussions 21 11-17-2004 06:04 AM
Police Tasered truant girl, 12 - Miami 12PackAttack Off Topic Talk 13 11-14-2004 12:00 AM
12-year-old VA boy arrested.... (long) NOTORIOUSKIM Off Topic Talk 10 06-21-2004 08:16 AM
Funny Funny Funny velocityboy Off Topic Talk 1 10-18-2003 03:28 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome