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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:11 AM Thread Starter
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stepchild suicide etc quetion

so last night my step daughter got in some trouble, she wrote her mother and i a note stating "I've tried to commit suicide in the past and failed" so i sat her down and asked her when this way she said " a year ago". I'm about 70% sure she is doing this for attention and wanted her mom to react the way she did by crying and hurting her. At the same time I dont want to drop the ball assuming she did actually try this. What are my next steps, i've never deal with anything like this before
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:12 AM
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professional help

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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:14 AM
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professional help
If you have guns in the house lock them up if they aren't all ready. She may be acting out for some reason but better safe than sorry.


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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:16 AM Thread Starter
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professional help
do i just contact a regular psychologist/psychiatrist or what?
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:18 AM
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do i just contact a regular psychologist/psychiatrist or what?
adolescent psych, if you have insurance you should be able to find a doctor through their website.


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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:18 AM
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If she said she tried to kill herself and you assume she is only saying so for "attention", you are taking a huge risk. Whether you call it "attention" or not, she obviously doesn't know of a better way to ask for help.

You should err on the side of caution and treat it seriously and get her the help she needs. Before any professional help will work, she needs to believe you and her Mother are 100% behind her and are supportive of her.

Without that first, it won't matter what you all do.


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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:19 AM
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do i just contact a regular psychologist/psychiatrist or what?
Contact her pediatrician first and get advice recommendations from her/him.

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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:26 AM Thread Starter
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should i get her dad and grandmother invovled? her dad's mom watches her 90% of the time and my wife doesn't want that side of the family to know at all and wants to talk to her, her grandmother picks her up from school today so i want her to be aware of the situation but my wife doesn't want to tell her/them.

also she doesn't have insurance
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:28 AM
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Her Dad should definitely be involved.....the more support she gets the better things will go.

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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:29 AM
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should i get her dad and grandmother invovled? her dad's mom watches her 90% of the time and my wife doesn't want that side of the family to know at all and wants to talk to her, her grandmother picks her up from school today so i want her to be aware of the situation but my wife doesn't want to tell her/them.

also she doesn't have insurance
You all need to come together and try to figure out what is going on. Doing this "us" and "them" bullshit now will only affect your daughter. Now is not the time to choose teams; you all should be concerned more about the kid than each other.


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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:29 AM Thread Starter
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Her Dad should definitely be involved.....the more support she gets the better things will go.
yeah my wife is saying her dad will just yell at her and make the situation worse so she doesn't want to tell him at all
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:30 AM
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yeah my wife is saying her dad will just yell at her and make the situation worse so she doesn't want to tell him at all
then maybe your wife is part of the problem.

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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 06:32 AM
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then maybe your wife is the problem.


Sound like her birth parents are the problem. OP, you are the only one thus far that sounds level headed; you may have to bring them all together.


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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 07:39 AM
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I think she Def needs outside help (professional) to figure out why she would do this and to make sure she is safe from this point on. Make sure she knows there's people like YOU that love and support her.
So sad to hear about people that take their own lives or try to. Hope things get better.

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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 07:52 AM
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What is her age? 8? 15? I think you would approach them differently.

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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 07:59 AM
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What everyone said here is spot on. I would say first you should try to mediate with the birth parents as to what is going on. After that the if possible even get the grandparents involved but only after you have had the talk with the parents.

It’s going to be very important that ALL of you are on the same page and you must show a united front to your Step Daughter.

Hopefully, this will show her how much ALL of you ALL LOVE HER and are concerned about her.

Immediately after this I would inform her that you ALL were going to go and seek some kind of professional help to get through this and emphasize that YOU ALL ARE FAMILY and there is nothing more important than that.

Just don’t attack or blindside her. It will only make things worse.

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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 08:01 AM
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 08:14 AM Thread Starter
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What is her age? 8? 15? I think you would approach them differently.
13 yr olds
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 08:21 AM
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13 yr olds
I knew it was going to be somewhere in the 12-14 yr old range. Tough age to deal with stuff, for sure. IMO, we have not helped out this age group at all with the huge amount of additional influences and unfettered accesses we've given them in the last decade..........cel phones, smart phones, Myspace and Facebook, etc. We're fcvking up our own kids.

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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 08:28 AM
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Doesn't emergency room has some sort of temp help and they can guide you to some specialist?
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