CONTESTS= Wednesday: Nov. 14, 2007 / Wednesday: Nov. 21, 2007

This contest is for 2 WEDNESDAYS Wednesday: Nov. 14, 2007 / Wednesday: Nov. 21, 2007 RULES: Off TOPIC classic, what is your craziest non bike story that has happened to you? Post work safe photos if needed only one post per entry. Include links, pictures and info only. Remember only ONE (1) post per member in this contest (you can sign up for other days also), you must reply to THIS thread only. You are encouraged to post up images and stories. The better the presentation the better shot at WINNING! PRIZES: Puig windscreen, screw combo and Galfer front lines. 4 sets total, 2 given away each Wednesday http://www.tobefast.com/puig-04-06-r1-db-screen-c-51835-p-1-pr-73.html http://www.tobefast.com/puig-anodized-screen-screw-kit-c-52530-p-1-pr-2965.html http://www.tobefast.com/galfer-04-06-r1front-brakeline-c-51720-p-2-pr-58.html http://www.tobefast.com/images/W/puig_01.jpg http://www.tobefast.com/images/W/puig_SCREWS.jpg http://www.tobefast.com/images/W/galfer_13.jpg Winners will be selected by R1-forum.com Administrative staff (everyone else is eligiable to enter). Each winner will and notified accordingly and posted in this first post on each thread. Winners will be able to select bike types and colors available and we reserve the right to replace it with a comparable price items if sizing, colors, types cannot be obtained. PLEASE ONLY REPLY WITH CONTESTS ENTRIES. NO COMMENTING ON OTHERS POSTS (IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING POSTED IN THE CONTESTS DROP A OFF TOPIC OR GENERAL THREAD UP :lol )

Ok, some of you head this story at the Gap convention back in 05 but here it goes. I was in the Navy and we just pulled into Subic Bay on our last liberty call on a long westpac. I had only months before had my clothes stolen in Hong Kong and had to walk back to the ship in my underwear and a hotel towel. Anyway, my friends and I all got girls and I went back to this girls room for the night. It was a tiny little place with just a bed and a little kitchen, bathroom and a closet with some her clothes. The next morning I wake up and she and my clothes are gone!! FK!!! I was pissed. I knew if I had to walk back this time I'd get put on restriction so I was gonna make her sorry. I went through her closet and found a pair of nylons and took a huge dump in them. Then tied it off and used it like a bat and covered as much of her walls and stuff as I could. I smacked every surface I could find with shit till I got tired. I was just washing my hands off in the sink when I heard the door open and here she was with breakfast and my clothes freshly washed and cleaned. I just grabbed it all and ran. I'm sure it traumatized her in some way.:crash WINNER: MANOWAR@ and LATAKE Week 1, Please send all of your contact details, bike type and first and second color choice in a PM to SpidermanSS. Remember EVERYONE else the contest is still going another week so KEEP signing up it's not over!

Funny stories... Have a ton of those, there's the one where I was at hunting camp and the toilet seat broke on our portable camping toilet and I had to burn my clothes because they stunk so bad or... When I got drunk at the NCO club and pee'd in a plastic bush or... When I decided to try Tequila and walked out my dorm room and fell into the Wing Trophy Case breaking everything in it, but one of the best has to be... I was 12 or 13, growing up in West Virginia. So yes we're rednecks. The fuel filter went out on our old Ford truck and Dad didn't want to stop to change it because he had one at the house, nearly 20 miles away. So what's a redneck to do? Take off the air filter, make me sit under the hood and pour gas directly into the carburator! It wouldn't have been to bad except we were on the INTERSTATE! Scared me to death everytime that truck backfired. Just imagine passing an old 1980 (?) blue Ford truck with the hood up and kid under the hood pouring gas into the carburator. We must've been a sight... Good Times! Jim

My first car (after 3 motorcycles) was a 1964 pontiac tempest with a straight six & a two speed tranny I paid 600 bucks for. needless to say it wasn't in perfect mechanical condition. One day it started to leak gas from the motor, so I take it to the gas station (when there was still mechanics at gas stations) & the guy says it's coming from a small hole in the bottom of the fuel pump & I need a new fuel pump. well I've got very little money, the car still runs, it's just dripping gas. so being the smart guy that I am, I find a small screw that fits the hole & presto! no more leak. fast forward about 10 years: we're going to a family reunion (my mom, my brother & I) about 3 hours away. my brother takes his work van without permission. we get to the reunion OK but then he notices he smells gas so we investigate & find that it's leaking from the fuel pump. well it's sunday afternoon in a strange city with a van that you're not even supposed to be driving. do you think that's a problem for a time seasoned wannabe mechanic like myself? hell no! I know just how to handle this situation. we're in a park so it's doubtful that we'll find an assortment of screws so after looking around we come up with a tooth pick that fits the bill (& the hole), problem solved. Well about halfway home on the freeway my brother notices that the oil pressure has dropped 20 lbs, he says it has always been pretty constant in the past so decides to pull over to check it out. just as we are pulling into a gas station the engine compartment catches fire & starts billowing black smoke. thinking quickly my brother grabs the windsheild washer bucket & douses the fire before disaster strikes. we had to wait for a couple of hours to be picked up by friends & in that time the mechanic at the the station starts to diagnose the problem & finds that the entire crankcase was full of oil mixed with gas & had overflowed out of the breather in the valve cover & ignited on the exhaust header presumably. all told they drained almost a full five gallon bucket from the crankcase. you can guess that my status as a mechanical hero was not what it had been at the begining of this little challenge. :dundun: back to the 64 tempest; question: why did the van catch fire & my pontiac did not? after giving this some thought I realized the tempest had always burned oil (almost a quart per tank) & after plugging the hole in the fuel pump, I never had to add oil ever again. the fuel was replacing the burned up oil & furthermore if the engine burned that much oil with a relatively thick viscosity as compared to gas, just think how readily it will burn the excess fuel that is being dumped into the crankcase. it must have been burning it almost as fast as it was being dumped in 'cause it never needed oil but it never got so full as to catch fire. ANYBODY WANT ME TO WORK ON YOUR BIKE???? :drevil: :lol

My first street bike was a 1977 Kawasaki KZ650 that I bought for 500.00. I was riding around like the master bike rider I thought I was, and in my girlfriends neighborhood I decided to do a flyby since she and some of her friends were outside watching. As I flewby the house I thought man Im cool look at all the girls starring at me... then I remembered that the street turns 90 degrees right past her house and I slammed into the curb and flew like 45 feet off the bike and landed in the yard of the neighboor. Everyone runs over as I lay there motionless in shock... and her little brother kicks me and says "is he dead?" That is the only time I have ever wrecked my bike, but needless to say it was a powerful but painless lesson. (minus the damage done to the bike)

I was working at a local pizza place as a delivery driver. The staff basicly consisted of all of our friends running it. On a slow night this kid and his buddys come in for a pizza. we all start chatting and I spot his jeep wrangler. Hes a rich kid from naperville so its all done up from trail lights, lift kit, big tires, wench...the whole deal. My friend aron that worked with us was interested in buying a jeep at the time so I called him from the back and we went outside and looked at it. We asked him to go for a ride and we went through a few trails (to help the sale of course:) ) we were going through a big construction area which is now a grocery store and shopping center. I pointed out a big dirt mound that we should try to climb. Its one of those big dirt piles about 150ft long and maybe 35 feet high. So its me in the passenger seat, driver, the drivers friend and my buddies aron and mike in the back with no seats or seat belts in the back. aron and mike jumped out of the jeep before we started to climb it because they were scared. so we start climbing the hill. we get about half way up and the dirt hill isnt nice and flat at that point. and basicly your on the edge the whole time after that. the truck got off balanced a bit so I told him to turn the wheels right. he turned the wheel left and gives it some gas. the jeep tips on the drivers side, then slides down the hill, and a we land upside down in the jeep. i was untouched, the driver is hanging upside down on his seatbelt and his friend who was in the back was upside down with his knees at his forehead. we finally all get out. we call some more friends and we try to put the jeep on its wheels. because were right next to the dirt hill we cant push it on the already damaged side. instead we had to push it onto the passengers side and then try to tip it. so at this point, both sides and the roof of the jeep is junked. we didnt have enough man power to tip the jeep on its tires either and the truck we had couldnt get to where we were at to pull it over so we ended up leaving it there. We went back out later that night and pulled it over, put some oil in it, and he took it home. I dont have any pictures of that night but it was definitly pretty intense and another learning experience to chalk up on the board. needless to say, my buddy aron didnt buy his jeep. this jeep is almost identicle to his minus the other goodies he had on it. and this ones not as smashed up. http://www.southernjeeps.org/phpbb/files/jeeproll1_471.jpg

This is probably the best story I have. I was around 16, it was a Saturday afternoon. A bunch of us were playing car tag, it is a simple game involving cheap squirt guns or small water balloons, you find a place to pass the car and when passing either squirt their front windshield or hit it with a water balloon. Most the people in the small town knew of the game, and no one really cared. As long as we didn't do anything too stupid and get anyone hurt. This is in Arkansas up in the Ozarks. My friend was driving and we spotted a target, a black F150 truck. We were in a Ford Ranger. We got behind the F150 and checked his tags. It was a local, so followed him until we could pass, then when passing I pulled the squirt gun out and shot him with like to squirts. And we sped off thinking nothing of it. About 5 miles down the road we turned to another road to get back to town to look for someone else. As we are turning I see the black truck coming at a very high speed, probably about 75mph. We did not think anything of it till he was sliding making the same turn we did so my friend punched it. We were off like a bullet, he was keeping up. So we hit the dirt roads, we liked rally and baha style driving so we did practice on these abandoned dirt roads allot, so did some semi-pro rally racers. We slid onto the first dirt road, and we are thinking there is no way he will come after us. I look back and there he is sliding onto the road also. So my friend punches it again. I start calling up in memory this road, was his primary navigator at the time called the corners for him. So I start calling corners, and we are pushing as hard as we can, sticking close to 90mph the entire way. We lost him after a bit, and we slowed down o 50, after about 2 minutes we see this dust cloud peeking the hill behind us, I turned to look and there he was catching up. So we sped up again. We were on and off these abandoned roads constantly. This same thing kept happening, we would lose him and he would catch back up. We started referring to him as the Terminator because no matter what we did to lose him he showed back up. This went on for about 3 hours; we were starting to get worried what he might do if he caught us. The only reason we could stay ahead of him was we had the lighter truck. So finally we led him to a tiny quarry we knew of that was perfect for a 180 maneuver, so my friend tried it. But something went wrong and h lost it, we wound up sliding around and stopping with the rear bumper about 6 inches from a tree. The black truck without missing a beat slid in front of us stopping a hair form our front bumper. His windows were dark tinted so we could not see him at all. The driver of the F150 steps out and walks over to us, nothing in his hands, my friend is in tears, I am shacking also. This guy was built pretty well. He walks over to the drive side, the side my friend is on, and signals him to roll down the window. My friend does, my friend worried that he is going to get killed, and me ready to run. The guy ends up thumping my friend?s nose, and says "Tag YOUR IT!" My friend and I are dumb founded. All of a sudden I see movement to my right, my window was rolled down also by mistake, and someone hits us both with something like a Super Soaker. After the water stopped hitting me in the face I found out it was the mayor of the town. And he was laughing. The entire thing ended with laughter. Ends up the guy was a baha racer that had moved near by a few months ago. He ended up helping us in our racing, we had a small league going when I moved away, and he helped us set up the water car tag a bit better so we would not have to check plates, it was a small flag you put on your car, magnetic that meant you were playing. I know this is very long and the odds of me winning are low, but I had to give it a try, I will just end up buying those parts in a few months lol. WINNER: MANOWAR@ and LATAKE Week 1, Please send all of your contact details, bike type and first and second color choice in a PM to SpidermanSS. Remember EVERYONE else the contest is still going another week so KEEP signing up it's not over!

4yrs or so ago in the March April time frame just about the time the US and Great Britan invaded Iraq again. Me and buddy took a trip to London and needless to say the American sentiment was nto at it higest point as you can see by the anti war jibberish scribbled on the wall in the picture. So anyway me and my buddy were on our way back from a night of drinking one night and the subway station we were supposed to get off at looked like a bomb went off. trash cans tipped, benches thrown all over etc. We finally get off the subway to find that there is anti war protest going on and about 10,000 or so people are trying to get at the US embasy. seing this my buddy wanted to run but i had teh brialliant idea of going to take picture of the protest now turning into a riot. so we followed the roit and noticed about 50 mini vans carring bobbies (cops) and they were staring to surround the rioters. i had already taken my pictuers and figuered now that a helicopyter was now involved it was time for me to make my departure. so as i trun to leave the fringe of teh riot i get cross checked to teh ground by a cop. "where you thinbk your going?" asks through his face shield. "I'm not with them" i try and tell him. but he doesn't wana buy that. so i tell him that i am american and i was just curious to see what was going on, well all the american haters there heard me andthat is when things got ugly. the cops saw that now mopst or the corraled Brit anger was now being directed towards me since they could no long progress down teh street. long story short the cops decided since my buddy was about to cry and i was white asa ghost it was better that swel left the area so people started thrwoing things as we ran about 10 block back to our hotel and hid til morning. the bobby took my camer but now before i pockted the memory card teh 2nd pics is teh best riot pic i could take without a flash. thanks..... PS sorry so long.....

One day we were all in the neighborhood hanging out. We all had to ride from my house on the road to the dirt trails. From there we fly through the trails and in fields and shit. This was like an everyday routine. Friends would pull their bikes to my house and we'd all ride. We all had sound systems that were really loud....Of course each time we'd come in the area, the sounds would be LOUD! Little did we know, a neighbor like 10 houses up was simply fed up with the 2-stroke sound, bass, everything about us. This day I had about 5 guys come over....the last guy gets there, he pulled his bike on one of those hitches that the bike sits on right behind the truck...no trailer. He pulls in, we get the bike off...as we are doing this we see a while silverado pull into a driveway about 3 up and sit there. The bike is off and he goes I need to run to the store real quick....We tell him to just come to the trails when he gets back....He leaves my driveway....my street was a big circle...meaning you come in on it follow it all the way around and you go out on it....Well, he pulls out and the silverado goes flyin out of that driveway....tires burnin! We are all like WTF! My dad and his friend were in our back yard unloading wood from the truck.....Well, a few seconds go by and we see my buddy that just pulled out come FLYIN back down the road hittin the horn...The silverado was on his ass! He get in front my house, locks up the brakes, jumps out and yells that sob just rammed me like 10 times and he has a gun! The White truck gets there and out he jumps with his revolver....Silliest shit.....Three of us hide behind the John Deere in the yard....one breaks across the street.....At the same moment us behind the mower realized we were exposed....so we all broke to the front door....All three trying to get in at the same time....like a cartoon and no one is getting in...we are all stuck....I say F it and break left around the house to the dad where my dad is yelling dads....this crazy sob has a gun....I go in the shed we have out back...My dad and his go up the front to find out wtf is going on...The guys tells my dad he's a truck driver and between our bikes and music, he never gets any sleep, so he was going to scare us straight. He was fed up. We called the cops and they showed and he got arrested....We all had to appear in court to tell what we saw. He ruined the back of the pathfinder.....

At MCAS Cherry Point, back in about 1997, me and a buddy were working out in the 3rd deck gym in barracks 4167. Doing lat pull-downs if I remember right. Anyway, in walks another Sergeant named Terrero from Trinidad and Tobago. Real skinny guy with a pretty thick accent. He starts putzing around the gym, doing some crunches here, a few reps on the bench machine, then finally settles in on the treadmill.(I think you all know where this story is going, but wait, it gets good.) So me and Hoffman, the guy spotting me at the lat machine are on like our second set and I can hear Terrero's bare feet slapping on the treadmill. "Slap, slap, slap" at what sounded like a VERY high speed. For some reason this ex-grunt didn't like to wear shoes when he worked out. Out of the corner of my eye, I can kinda see him, but not really. Then, in mid pull-down, I hear a "slap, slap, slap- BANG" then a sound like cardboard drug across concrete, then another "slap BANG". Well, we look over and Terrero is face down in a lump at the tail end of the treadmill, low crawling backward (good tactical training in practice, I guess) away from the machine. Me and Hoffman stop, ask if he's alright, and he pops up with a BIG red skidmark on the right side of his face, and says (in that thick Trinidad accent) "I tink I loose some cool points on dat one". Trying desperately to contain our laughter, we ask just what the hell happened. He explained: "Well, I was running along on dat ting and I get bored, so I decides to grab dem side rails and jump de hell offa da back of da ting." "Yeah, and?", we ask. "Well, I guess I didn't clear da damn ting, and landed on my tip toes. I fall forward and shoots to de end of de belt." "Well, what were the slap-BANG noises?" Hoffman asked, giggling. "Uh, I got stuck at de end of de belt and it's running on my face, so I reach over top to push my face off, but de belt still running and shoot my hand back off de end of da belt, and I hit my face again." Terrero ended up fine, with nothing more than skidmarks on one side of his face. Had to explain to our Gunny how he got road rash on his face, and of course, nobody believed him. But me and Hoffman were DONE working out for the night. Too hard to lift when you're about to piss yourself laughing.

I don't know if it's crazy or not but its one my favorite funny moments!! :fact I am the Asst. Manager for a Armored Car Company in IA. I often do on-call which requires me to answer pages for ATM repairs. I was called to an ATM in the Ped Mall in Iowa City which is in the heart of the Bar scene of the University of Iowa campus. I started working on the ATM and a small group of people were waiting very patiently off to the side for me to finish so they could use the ATM. :fact We seem to have a large populous of very "Hoity Toity Rich Bitches" in our area and the gal that aproached me was obviously the queen of them!! :lol She aproached me with a very snotty tone and said "Excuse me!! I need to use this ATM! I have a salon appointment that I am gonna be late for and I need tip money!" I replied very profesionaly, "I will be done in just a moment miss and then you can get in line behind those people over there to use this ATM when I am finished." Snotty Bish: "Well....I am not waiting for them and you need to let me use this ATM now!! You obviously don't know who I am!!" So I closed up the ATM, brought it back on-line and stepped aside for her royal highness to use it. She swiped her card and nothing. She swiped it again and nothing. She swiped it a total of 5 times and then turned to me and said..."It's not reading my card!!!" I calmly replied.."Huh.....You suppose thats why I'm here??" :crash The small group of people who were waiting so nicely busted out laughing and her royal bitchiness stomped off pissing and moaning the entire way down the sidewalk!! :lol :lol :lol A little mental bitchslap for the common man against the snobs!! :fact :flex:

Back in the day...haha...I worked at a Jazz and Martini bar to put myself through college. The owner was a cool guy who decided to give one of his high school buddies a job. This kid was the town drunk, and on more than one occasion he actually got so drunk that he left the bar doors unlocked at close. After being given numerous warnings (the guy felt bad for his idiot friend, and for some reason felt compelled to keep him employed, for fear he'd really go down the gutter) his behavior never really changed, we decided we needed to teach him a lesson. He came back from a local concert completely rocked. Drunker than we'd ever seen him before. So we decided to just keep him going, as neither of us had ever seen him throw up, regardless of alcohol intake. So the boss and I take turns getting him to do shots with us. One after another, he just keeps going, like a drunken machine. He's becoming sloppier as the night goes on, and before you know it, we're pretty busy. I decide to take a break, and head out back to relax for a minute. I leave a girl I know in charge of baby sitting. When I return, he keeps saying "Suck my balls" "Put em in your mouth" to everyone around, too much south park i guess. After dumping numerous salt packets in his hair, we decide to do wrestling moves off the bar onto him. Keep in mind, this is in hte middle of a classy bar. Flying elbows, knee drops, full nelsons, the whole 9. People are snapping pictures left and right, and word is spreading down the street. We are filling up, and we decided to take it a step further. I find a chair, and tell him, dude, okay, we're done, just sit down. Boss has a roll of duct tape. Next thing you know, he's completely taped to the chair. So six of us, take hte chair out to the front of hte bar, put him right next to the road, and leave him. People were taking pictures like it was the washington monument. Later that night, after unhooking him, he ended up pissing himself, not throwing up. We drag him out the back, and hose him off before dropping him off at his house. His dad answers, we say, um, he's pretty drunk. His dad goes "what else is new?" Well this time it was a little worse than usual :) Needless to say, he didn't drink the next day at work. WINNER: GvillefloridaR1 and Mr Hoolihan Week 2, Please send all of your contact details, bike type and first and second color choice in a PM to SpidermanSS. Congrats! -Shane

Flying story (I rip around in a hornet when I'm not terror assing around on my bike): We are down in Mountainhome doing some training - we head out on a mission and cruise to the tanker to get some gas. We are tanking off the Iron Maiden (a KC-135). For those of you that haven't experienced the joys of air to air refuelling before here's the first issue: All of your flying career you are asked to kindly not smash your jet into anything else. Then, when it comes time to refuel you need to put out a refuelling probe that is conveniently located off-center to keep the challenge level up and subsequently place (or smash depending on technique) your probe into a refuelling basket. This in itself is enough of a significant emotional event, but couple that with tanking off of the Iron Maiden it becomes downright unfun. The Iron Maiden has the equivalent of a 50lb wrecking ball for a basket that if you don't hit absolutely perfect will swing out and bitch-slap you like you read about, tearing important bits off of the jet in the process. I digress. Needless to say, we proceed to the tanker - three of us have tanked plenty, but one winger is fairly new. We gave him a peptalk prior to the mission consisting of "don't f*ck it up!". He goes to tank and everything looks good - at one point he gets bucked off of the hose (it happens). As he goes to reconnect, the boom-dude goes "hitman 14 - hold on a sec...looks like you might be missing an important bit". I slide over to have a look at his jet, but can't really tell if something is broken or not. So I throw out my probe and ask boom-guy "does right look like left?" - response: "Nope." They ask me to have a look at the basket next to see if the missing bit is in there. Boom-dude: "is the basket alright?" Me: "that depends, if by alright you mean it has a sticky-out bit from a hornet probe in the center, then yeah, it's alright" Boom-dud "nope, that's definately not alright - we'll be RTB" So the tanker goes home, the wingman goes home (feeling the shame). When the mission is done, the tanker guys bring over the tip of his probe to present to him...he get's mocked, and earns a new callsign out of the deal - his new callsign is "Bobitt", still his callsign to this day. He might have had to buy a round or two that night.

WINNER: MANOWAR@ and LATAKE Week 1, Please send all of your contact details, bike type and first and second color choice in a PM to SpidermanSS. Remember EVERYONE else the contest is still going another week so KEEP signing up it's not over!

:jump :bow :scoots: CONGRATZ: MANOWAR@ and LATAKE:jump :bow :scoots:

Here is my "American funniest home videos" 100,000 winner. One thanksgiving me,my brother,cousin, uncle,aunt, mom and dad were all out side on the porch talking and crackin jokes. We decided to throw the football around and work off a little of turkey we all just ate. So my brother,cousin and I are throwin the ball around while the family watches... the family german shepard wakes up and decides he wants too see whats up and sees thats we have his most favorite thing (football) Well he comes over and noone is paying him any attention so he decides to take it into his own hands and lets us know he is there.. First he bites me on the leg (that S**T hurt) and I threw the ball to my brother so he would leave me alone... Well he went over to my brother and bite him square on the ass... so everyone is laughing at us gettin bit and freakin out.. so my half drunk uncle walks out and says "throw that here .. he wont F**K with me" WRONG if u knew charlie davis u would know he ALWAYS wore sweat pants with no underwear... well the dog comes over and charlie kicks at it... the dog bites and gets his sweat pants and gives a good ole tug... rips the pants right off and the only thing left is the elastic band around his wait that used to be his pants... so there is a ENTIRE family rolling on the ground while my uncle is there with his dick swinging in the wind...I had a lil pee spot on my pants and a story for life! WINNER: GvillefloridaR1 and Mr Hoolihan Week 2, Please send all of your contact details, bike type and first and second color choice in a PM to SpidermanSS. Congrats!

Thank you very much! Thank you so much and thanks for the grats. :boobies :bow :jump

WINNER: GvillefloridaR1 and Mr Hoolihan Week 2, Please send all of your contact details, bike type and first and second color choice in a PM to SpidermanSS. Congrats!

Thanks everyone for participating, the contests are now over. The stories and entries were AWESOME! If you have posted any of this stuff on the site before please do! It's what makes the forums so GREAT! Nothing has shipped yet but all of the winning orders will get put into our computer system early next week and things ready to ship :) Happy Holdays from everyone here! R1-forum.com / R6-forum.com