Light Lidz up for grabs

I have a free set of light lidz light covers in your choice of silver or white shipped to your door (US only) to the person who can come up with the most unique bathroom poetry ex: Some people come to sit and think....others come to sh*t and stink....but I just come to scratch my balls and read the writings on the walls:butt

Found on the inside of a pay toilet: "Here I sit broken hearted, spent a dime and only farted.":lol

"For A Good Time Call Kisha at 215-472-XXXX" I "X'ed" out the number because I still use it now and then! Voodoo

not exactly poetry but i like..... any asshole can piss on the floor, be a hero.....shit on the ceiling

Another one of my personal favorites is the simple yet elegant: "Wanna F@#$?" Written in the bathroom down the hall here at work.:yesnod

Here I sit all broken hearted. Tried to shit but only farted. Later on I took a chance. Tried to fart and shit my pants.

how about me..... :) lock and loaded.... I head to the toilet..... close the door, feel the pain... my but is getting sore......this aint no game... I pushed and leg tremble from the pressure, "make it stop"..... i said in a prayer...

if its yellow, then let it mellow. if its brown, flush it down!

Sitting on the pot I drop a fair sized log Wipe, Wait, And repeat

I poop on unique, I poop on the ultimate of ultimate I poop on the Max of Maximum, I poop on the creator of all created I poop on the sun, I poop on the Universe, I bring poop and pee to all that seek it, bring kidney stones and diarrhea to those who ask I open bathroom doors, I open bathroom doors that should not be open I give poop when there is none, I fart the wind; My farts are in the air in your breath I poop happy when you poop happy, I poop dismayed when you poop sad. I poop on your future, I poop on your past. I poop on you when you get up in the morning I poop on your dreams at night I poop on your body guard I poop on your shield in the midst of a fart. All I ask is a few bags of your poop, to thank me for all that I poop on. I poop on your provider, but if you deny me of who I poop on I can be forced to stop up your pooper I poop on that I poop on.

Keep em coming guys I will make my decision on Sunday adn ship them on Monday.

And you thought you would never see the Cleveland Browns at the super Bowl:lol

Ok here is a favorite, and quite appropriate. Those who write on shit house walls Roll there shit into little balls Those who read those words of wit Eat those little balls of shit :iamwithst :lol

ever flush the toilet and that ONE chunk just won't go down?! what does that chunk want?!

beer.

http://www.spiteast.org/bathroompoetry/bathroom.php3 Bathroom poetry doesn't necessarily just pertain to taking a dump now... I ****ed in France, I ****ed in Spain. I ****ed up and down the coast of Maine. But I'll never be happy I'll nerve be free. Till I ****ed the Navy like the Navy ****ed me.

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, Be a sweetie, raise the seatie!"

Seen in a cubicle in my university Toilet poets when they die ... Should be erected where they lie ... For their life-long contribution of wit ... A headstone made entirely of sh*t :crash

Here I sit, in the hall of vapors. Some darn fool done stole the papers. The bell has rung I must not linger. Look out ass here comes my finger. or Here I sit in deadly vapor, Wishing for some toilet paper. How long, I wonder, must I linger, Before I'm forced to use my finger?

Bathroom Sayings (or Cool Things to Do in a Bathroom): Say "Interesting ... more floaters than sinkers." Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say "Whoops! Could you kick that back over here please?" Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter creamed corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast. Say "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot." Say "I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?" Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down a "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor, and say "Peek-a-boo!" Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."

http://www.monkeysinajar.com/dumb/bath.html

Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean. Your aim will help.

(written high upon the wall) If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's you.

(written high upon the wall above a urinal) Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.

Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays!

On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance. On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance. "$1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet)

A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool! Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no P in it. Please keep it that way. My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her the yarn, will she make me one too? Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled: I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit. It only takes Burger King 10 minutes. Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away. Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!

Fart loud if you love Jesus! While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations! You've one one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left... (written above a urinal) Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of it?

Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one. "Dus I hear thou derrier' spout, thou fragrance I'm sure I can do without" Bathroom at North Carolina School of the Arts

"Please flush twice. It's a long way to the kitchen!" Men's room in a "greasy spoon" diner in Duluth MN

Well as promised I said I would make my decision on Monday. I want to thank everyone for the humor and maybe i will have more to give away in the future. The winner this time is: Broken R1 :cool: I appreciate all the good laughs...thanks fellas.:boobies and keep dropping your :butt then writing on the shitter walls

"P*ssy is p*ssy, no matter what race I'd love a wet p*ssy on top of my face I'd also love p*ssy inhaling m pole but not if that p*ssy has been on this bowl"

Seen in a stall in San Antonio... Here I sit, Ass cheeks flexin'... Giving birth to another Texan!

He who writes on the bathroom walls, rolls his shit into tiny balls. He who reads these words of whit, eats those tiny balls of shit.