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Old 10-05-2012, 06:02 PM   #341
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petrol_Spice View Post
There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
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Old 10-12-2012, 12:49 AM   #342
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The theme song for the new Bond film Skyfall, is performed by Adele.
This is a rare example of something beginning when the fat lady sings.
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Old 10-12-2012, 12:50 AM   #343
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A Muslim couple, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for
counselling. The Mullah asks If they have any last questions before
they leave.

The man says, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance
with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding
reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always
dance separately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answers the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."

"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man.

"No problem," says the Mullah.

"Woman on Top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! "

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets, with a
bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket
of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No," says the Mullah.

"Why not?" asks the man.

"It could lead to dancing."
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Old 10-12-2012, 03:13 AM   #344
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Old 10-12-2012, 03:26 AM   #345
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigertim20 View Post
A Muslim couple, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for
counselling. The Mullah asks If they have any last questions before
they leave.

The man says, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance
with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding
reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always
dance separately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answers the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."

"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man.

"No problem," says the Mullah.

"Woman on Top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! "

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets, with a
bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket
of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No," says the Mullah.

"Why not?" asks the man.

"It could lead to dancing."
Can we lay off the Sand Nigga jokes? It'll offend them.
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Old 10-12-2012, 05:19 AM   #346
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petrol_Spice View Post
Can we lay off the Sand Nigga jokes? It'll offend them.
Then they will boycott the US and try to have the site shut down
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You pecker head....
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Old 11-04-2012, 12:34 AM   #347
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My wife told me that she has quit smoking.
To see if she's telling the truth,I've gone to work and left the gas on.


Whats the world coming to? I saw a 14 year old maori girl in the pub drinking.
I had to ask myself,who is looking after her kids?


My girlfriend swalloed my cum for the first time in nearly 5 years last night,
I wonder if that's a sign she's coming out of the coma?
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Old 11-04-2012, 04:51 AM   #348
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigertim20 View Post
My wife told me that she has quit smoking.
To see if she's telling the truth,I've gone to work and left the gas on.


Whats the world coming to? I saw a 14 year old maori girl in the pub drinking.
I had to ask myself,who is looking after her kids?


My girlfriend swalloed my cum for the first time in nearly 5 years last night,
I wonder if that's a sign she's coming out of the coma?
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Quote:
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You pecker head....
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Old 11-04-2012, 05:09 AM   #349
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigertim20 View Post
My wife told me that she has quit smoking.
To see if she's telling the truth,I've gone to work and left the gas on.


Whats the world coming to? I saw a 14 year old maori girl in the pub drinking.
I had to ask myself,who is looking after her kids?


My girlfriend swalloed my cum for the first time in nearly 5 years last night,
I wonder if that's a sign she's coming out of the coma?
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Cal meh anj alcholic all yoo want. I will not memba in the morning, or the next day.

My bike thread.. http://www.r1-forum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=343172
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:50 AM   #350
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Funny stuff


Sent from my iPhone using R-1 Forum
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:55 AM   #351
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Quit shaking your head, you're creating a draft!

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Old 11-05-2012, 11:59 AM   #352
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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?



None. They just beat the room for being black!
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Old 11-05-2012, 12:05 PM   #353
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cataclyzm123 View Post
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?



None. They just beat the room for being black!
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Old 11-05-2012, 01:38 PM   #354
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Have you heard of the new drink? It’s called a “Sandy”.


It’s simply a watered down Manhattan.


Too Soon?
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Old 11-05-2012, 02:56 PM   #355
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You pecker head....
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:50 PM   #356
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Old 11-23-2012, 04:00 AM   #357
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One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the
old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I fu*ked a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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Old 11-23-2012, 08:52 AM   #358
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Q. What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
A. Suppressing the erection.
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:49 PM   #359
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Why are there so many Muslim jokes?

Because Arkmed is the bomb...
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:15 AM   #360
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Q. How many PETA members does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Don't be stupid. PETA has never changed anything.
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