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10-05-2012, 06:02 PM
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#341
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R1SP only the best will do
Join Date: Dec 2009
Bikes: 2006 R1SP 2009 R1 2008 Busa BeeWee
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,135
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petrol_Spice
There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.
She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.
When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.
She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.
The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."
Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.
As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"
Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
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__________________
Sig by: You know who.
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10-12-2012, 12:49 AM
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#342
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Mad Thou Rider
Join Date: Jul 2010
Bikes: 2001 r1
Location: Otago, New Zealand
Posts: 1,210
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The theme song for the new Bond film Skyfall, is performed by Adele.
This is a rare example of something beginning when the fat lady sings.
__________________
thanks petrol!!
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10-12-2012, 12:50 AM
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#343
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Mad Thou Rider
Join Date: Jul 2010
Bikes: 2001 r1
Location: Otago, New Zealand
Posts: 1,210
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A Muslim couple, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for
counselling. The Mullah asks If they have any last questions before
they leave.
The man says, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance
with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding
reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always
dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answers the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on Top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! "
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets, with a
bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket
of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No," says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
__________________
thanks petrol!!
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10-12-2012, 03:13 AM
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#344
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90% INDESTRUCTABLE
Join Date: Aug 2008
Bikes: 06 R1R - 01 R1 hybrid - 06 FZ6N - 96 FailBladder cadaver
Location: South Oz
Posts: 15,264
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__________________
FASTER AND FASTER 'TILL THE THRILL OF SPEED OVERCOMES THE FEAR OF DEATH
-HUNTER S. THOMPSON .................................................. ............................................sig by PETROL_SPICE
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10-12-2012, 03:26 AM
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#345
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Seņor Citizen
Join Date: Feb 2002
Bikes: KTM RC8(S1) KTM 990 SDR
Location: Pimptopia
Posts: 19,904
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigertim20
A Muslim couple, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for
counselling. The Mullah asks If they have any last questions before
they leave.
The man says, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance
with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding
reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always
dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answers the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on Top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! "
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets, with a
bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket
of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No," says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
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Can we lay off the Sand Nigga jokes? It'll offend them.
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10-12-2012, 05:19 AM
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#346
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Venom X/O
Join Date: Jan 2011
Bikes: 2009 Raven R1
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,135
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petrol_Spice
Can we lay off the Sand Nigga jokes? It'll offend them.
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Then they will boycott the US and try to have the site shut down 
__________________
R1-016 Venom Squad 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KMac
I could see myself watching Magic Mike EVERY weekend.
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11-04-2012, 12:34 AM
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#347
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Mad Thou Rider
Join Date: Jul 2010
Bikes: 2001 r1
Location: Otago, New Zealand
Posts: 1,210
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My wife told me that she has quit smoking.
To see if she's telling the truth,I've gone to work and left the gas on.
Whats the world coming to? I saw a 14 year old maori girl in the pub drinking.
I had to ask myself,who is looking after her kids?
My girlfriend swalloed my cum for the first time in nearly 5 years last night,
I wonder if that's a sign she's coming out of the coma?
__________________
thanks petrol!!
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11-04-2012, 04:51 AM
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#348
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Venom X/O
Join Date: Jan 2011
Bikes: 2009 Raven R1
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,135
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigertim20
My wife told me that she has quit smoking.
To see if she's telling the truth,I've gone to work and left the gas on.
Whats the world coming to? I saw a 14 year old maori girl in the pub drinking.
I had to ask myself,who is looking after her kids?
My girlfriend swalloed my cum for the first time in nearly 5 years last night,
I wonder if that's a sign she's coming out of the coma?
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__________________
R1-016 Venom Squad
Quote:
Originally Posted by KMac
I could see myself watching Magic Mike EVERY weekend.
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11-04-2012, 05:09 AM
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#349
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Bourbon is my blood
Join Date: Apr 2011
Bikes: 2002 R1, 1980 FLH Harley, 1993 Suzuki Rmx 250, 1979 CB900f(modified), 1980 Kawasaki KX125
Location: Victoria, Australia
Posts: 3,449
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigertim20
My wife told me that she has quit smoking.
To see if she's telling the truth,I've gone to work and left the gas on.
Whats the world coming to? I saw a 14 year old maori girl in the pub drinking.
I had to ask myself,who is looking after her kids?
My girlfriend swalloed my cum for the first time in nearly 5 years last night,
I wonder if that's a sign she's coming out of the coma?
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11-04-2012, 06:50 AM
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#350
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Street Bike And Subie Freak
Join Date: Sep 2012
Bikes: Red 07 R1 (SOLD) 01 F4i Stunt Bike (For Sell) 04 CBR RR (Sold)
Location: Eugene OR
Posts: 219
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Funny stuff
Sent from my iPhone using R-1 Forum
__________________
-Ride safely everyone.
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11-04-2012, 08:55 AM
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#351
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look for special phrase here
Join Date: Jul 2009
Bikes: 09 r1 from the DARKSIDE
Location: WI
Posts: 8,285
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__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meister37
Quit shaking your head, you're creating a draft!
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The Man, The Legend Uncle P 
Phantom Squadron CO Check Out Phantom Squadron Here
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11-05-2012, 11:59 AM
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#352
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I have a big attitude!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Bikes: 2007 R1
Location: 818
Posts: 6,748
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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black!
__________________
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11-05-2012, 12:05 PM
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#353
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damn turkeys
Join Date: May 2006
Bikes: 04 R1
Location: indiana
Posts: 27,601
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cataclyzm123
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black!
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__________________
Join Phantom Squadron
PDB and loving it! whoo hoo!
04 R1 - sunbeam yellow w/custom decals
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11-05-2012, 01:38 PM
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#354
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I have a big attitude!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Bikes: 2007 R1
Location: 818
Posts: 6,748
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Have you heard of the new drink? It’s called a “Sandy”.
It’s simply a watered down Manhattan.
Too Soon?
__________________
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11-05-2012, 02:56 PM
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#355
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Venom X/O
Join Date: Jan 2011
Bikes: 2009 Raven R1
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,135
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__________________
R1-016 Venom Squad
Quote:
Originally Posted by KMac
I could see myself watching Magic Mike EVERY weekend.
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11-06-2012, 05:50 PM
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#356
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damn turkeys
Join Date: May 2006
Bikes: 04 R1
Location: indiana
Posts: 27,601
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__________________
Join Phantom Squadron
PDB and loving it! whoo hoo!
04 R1 - sunbeam yellow w/custom decals
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11-23-2012, 04:00 AM
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#357
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Seņor Citizen
Join Date: Feb 2002
Bikes: KTM RC8(S1) KTM 990 SDR
Location: Pimptopia
Posts: 19,904
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One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the
old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I fu*ked a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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11-23-2012, 08:52 AM
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#358
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I have a big attitude!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Bikes: 2007 R1
Location: 818
Posts: 6,748
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Q. What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
A. Suppressing the erection.
__________________
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11-23-2012, 01:49 PM
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#359
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Seņor Citizen
Join Date: Feb 2002
Bikes: KTM RC8(S1) KTM 990 SDR
Location: Pimptopia
Posts: 19,904
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Why are there so many Muslim jokes?
Because Arkmed is the bomb...
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12-13-2012, 02:15 AM
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#360
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Seņor Citizen
Join Date: Feb 2002
Bikes: KTM RC8(S1) KTM 990 SDR
Location: Pimptopia
Posts: 19,904
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Q. How many PETA members does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Don't be stupid. PETA has never changed anything.
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