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Old 09-10-2007, 04:00 PM   #1
Super_Dave_344
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Police Citations FUNNY!!!

Hey Scott (GPD270) you ever use any of these?? lol I love the last one


These 16 Police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the
country:


Police Giving Citations:


16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile."

14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document·"

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."


6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

5. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

4. "How big WERE those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

2. "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS...

1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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Old 09-10-2007, 04:48 PM   #2
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Awesome!
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Old 09-10-2007, 06:54 PM   #3
62646
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can i toss a personall one in there??....80 in a 60 trooper got me....got my licence said "mr. trump" i said "ya" leo "any related to donald"? i said no, he said " your gonna wish you were".... 5 minutes and 600 bucks later lmao....these are classic thanks for the laugh man!!!
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Old 09-10-2007, 06:56 PM   #4
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Old 09-10-2007, 06:57 PM   #5
Super_Dave_344
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WOW!! 80 in a 60 and it cost you $600??? why so much?
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2001 Honda XR 50f pit bike
2005 Yamaha Zuma Scooter
2006 Yam R6 (50th annivesery Yellow)
2008 Yam WR 250f off road bike
1983 HD XR 1000 (factory dirt tracker)
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Old 09-10-2007, 07:00 PM   #6
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LOL..... Yes I must admit that I have used several of those..... Some of them I have never heard of. I bet Al has some good ones to.
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Old 09-10-2007, 07:01 PM   #7
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the last one is great
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Old 09-10-2007, 07:03 PM   #8
62646
mmmmmmhmmmmm....
 
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80 ina 60....i think he was having a bad day said he already got lik 7-8 of us
"sportbikers"that day...nailed me for neglegent driving 2nd degree....pretty much a bummer i just paid it and moved on.
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Old 09-10-2007, 09:51 PM   #9
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Aren't you supposed to wait till you get pulled over to fellate a cop?
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Old 09-10-2007, 09:55 PM   #10
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LMFAO @ #1.....
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Old 09-10-2007, 10:07 PM   #11
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Old 09-10-2007, 10:14 PM   #12
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All of them are funny..
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Old 09-10-2007, 10:20 PM   #13
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Those were funny, the one about outrunning a bullet is retarded though. I would have bitched him out royally for that one.

"Oh, gee, he tried to run, so I fu*cking SHOT him!"...seriously, give me a break, that's just idiotic. Act like a God damned professional.
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Old 09-11-2007, 08:32 AM   #14
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Old 09-11-2007, 08:48 AM   #15
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Old 09-11-2007, 09:19 AM   #16
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15, 13, 12, 10, 8, 6, 5, 1

Funny
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Old 09-11-2007, 12:44 PM   #17
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My favorite
Violator: "I will see you in court"
Response: "I know you will I just made you an appointment"

Other favorite
Violator: "Cant I just get a warning"
Response: "You past your warning 3 miles back at 84 miles per hour"
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