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Old 09-20-2012, 03:31 PM   #1
Petrol_Spice
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Bad taste jokes

Whats the only positive thing about the ghetto? HIV.

Did you know Princess Dianna had dandruff? It's true, they found her head an shoulders in the glove compartment.

Speaking if Dianna, records show she had a favourite hat. It was a bonnet.
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:32 PM   #2
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:38 PM   #3
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"That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing", I said. "I bet you want my cock in you?"


"Dave," my wife said. "You do know I can hear you on the baby monitor don't you?"


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Old 09-20-2012, 03:42 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CARBONAR1 View Post
"That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing", I said. "I bet you want my cock in you?"


"Dave," my wife said. "You do know I can hear you on the baby monitor don't you?"


Thats your worst one yet
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:46 PM   #5
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You sir, are in for a treat....
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:49 PM   #6
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I learned a few things during my Grandmas open heart surgery....


For example the pulminary valve is tighter than her ass!

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Old 09-20-2012, 03:51 PM   #7
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"What kind of films do you like?" I asked a girl at the bar.

She leant in close and said, "I just love romantic comedies."

I said, "You're not going to believe this but...."

"You love them too?" she asked, excited

"Fvck no!... I was going to say your breath smells exactly like the shit I had this morning."


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Old 09-20-2012, 03:53 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CARBONAR1 View Post
"That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing", I said. "I bet you want my cock in you?"


"Dave," my wife said. "You do know I can hear you on the baby monitor don't you?"




lol
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Old 09-20-2012, 03:54 PM   #9
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What's worse than shoving 12 raw oysters up your grandma's vag, and sucking them out?

Putting 12 in and sucking out 13.


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Old 09-20-2012, 03:57 PM   #10
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I said to my son, "You shouldn't pick scabs and eat them."

He said, "Why not, dad?"

I said, "Because my cock's badly infected."

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Old 09-20-2012, 03:59 PM   #11
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I was in the strip club the other night.

Halfway through getting a dance I looked at the dancer on the next table and cheekily asked "$20 for a blowjob?"

She snapped, "Fvck off, you're my dad!"

"Sorry, you're right" I replied, slightly embarrassed...

"Here's a tenner"



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Old 09-20-2012, 04:04 PM   #12
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How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky ? Because if it was anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush !
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Old 09-20-2012, 04:08 PM   #13
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I was out for my usual walk along the cliffs when I met a young girl crying her eyes out.

"What's wrong?...are you o.k?" I asked.

The girl said, "My little brother wanted to see over the edge so my mom and dad took him to the edge and then it gave way and they fell and bounced of the rocks and broke their arms and legs and then they disappeared in the water and I haven't seen them since"

"Well", I said as I unzipped my fly... "this isn't your lucky day is it?"
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Old 09-20-2012, 04:13 PM   #14
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After his gay lover died, Dave chopped up his body, cooked him in a spicy curry and ate him for dinner.



When asked why he did that he said.."I just wanted to feel him drip out of my arse one last time"...
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Old 09-20-2012, 04:15 PM   #15
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They Say, 9 out of 10 people live next door to a pedophile.

Well, I don't......

I live next door to the most gorgeous 10 year old I have ever seen!
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Old 09-20-2012, 04:40 PM   #16
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Sig pic courtesy of Uncle Petrol "Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism." -G. Washington
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:19 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petrol_Spice View Post

Speaking if Dianna, records show she had a favourite hat. It was a bonnet.
Most Americans dont/wont understand what the bonnet is, we call it a hood
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:27 PM   #18
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So Diana's favorite sweatshirt was a hoody
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:36 PM   #19
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Why were Michael Jackson's pants always so short?

































They weren't his!
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:43 PM   #20
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Have you heard about the new sandwich at McDonald's?

The McJackson:































One big weeny, two little buns!

Last edited by mhamren; 09-20-2012 at 05:45 PM.
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