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Bring X back
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Discussion Starter #1
tirod²slc said:
"GEORGE CARLIN POST 9-11 (His wife recently died...)
Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - mouthy comedian of the 70's and 80's
could write something so very eloquent ...and so very appropriate post 9-11.

A wonderful Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings
but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend
more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses
and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more
degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts,
yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have
multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much,
love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years
to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We
conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but
not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the
atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We
build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and
small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the
days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality,
one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from
cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology
can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to
share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
going to be around forever. Remember to say a kind word to someone who
looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and
leave your side. Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it
doesn't cost a cent. Remember to say, "I love you" to your partner and
your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will
mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands
and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the
precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the
moments that take our breath away.

Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And
the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
Enjoy the simple things.
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away."
-George Carlin

7,623 Posts
My Best Carlin................

by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does
not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment
than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to
put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they
want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled
Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when
I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying,

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In
the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches
or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem
and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for
the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap
or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. Thesepeople
should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two

I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies
even if you are President of the United States

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

We need our country back!

perpetual 15 minute break...
319 Posts
George Carlin is a funny guy but this is the worst thing he has ever written... :bash Nothing but a depressed, pessimistic view of life and most of it is not opinion, it's just wrong.

Dude this would be the life...
427 Posts
HEY r damien go suck a dick And thats my opinion. Ok. Your just to younge to under stand. Carlin is a great man. Thanks Nightshade. I've met the guy in person now twice truly a very smart man..

Super Moderator
21,675 Posts
Carlin rocks. :fact I just saw a documentary A&E did on him and
it was very interesting to watch. He was ahead of his time in the

Cornering Enthusiast
1,747 Posts

perpetual 15 minute break...
319 Posts
Mr.brett said:
HEY r damien go suck a dick And thats my opinion. Ok. Your just to younge to under stand. Carlin is a great man. Thanks Nightshade. I've met the guy in person now twice truly a very smart man..
1700warrior said:
Neither one of those quotes are from George Carlin. Don't believe me? Check it out from the horse's mouth:

Looks like you spoke too soon Mr.Brett, how 'bout you go suck a dick now smartass???
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