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Track Junkie
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4,774 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic
light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop
says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that
to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year
tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety
violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides
off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did
Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah,
he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put
the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

I know......I'm really bored right now...lol
:fact
 

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BANNED!
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3,989 Posts
ok here is a really lame joke i always tell

one fine day this guy is sitting in his living room watchin the game, he hears a knock on the door, he goes over and opens the door but no one is there, oh well he closes the door and sits back down on his couch, a few minutes later there is another knock on the door, he gets up and answers the door but again no one is there, WTF?!?!?, he goes back to watchin the game, a short time later, you guessed it another knock on the door, now he is pissed, must be neighborhood kids or soemthin, he gets up and opens the door, again no one, he looks around, left and right, down the street and then finally he looks down and there is a very small snail sitting there on his doorstep, out of frustration he grabs the snail and throws the sucker as far as he can and slams the door

one year later....

same guy sitting on his couch watching the game, he hears a knock on the door and gets up to answer it and *%@#!*! there is no one there, he looks down and there is the same small snail, the snail looks up at him and says, "Well, what the f_ck was that all about?!?!?!"
 

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Super Moderator
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21,675 Posts
What's the only kind of meat a priest can eat on Fridays?
Nun!!!
 

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Track Junkie
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4,774 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Skeeter said:
What's the only kind of meat a priest can eat on Fridays?
Nun!!!

lmfao, good one :corn
 

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L8R2U
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21,459 Posts
I like the 1 st one :lol :lol :lol
 

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L8R2U
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21,459 Posts
A guy & a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go
to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then

washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.


The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"

"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl
says, "You must be a good dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you
figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"
 

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L8R2U
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21,459 Posts
The Bull
A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked a little farther and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot
from him."
They walked farther and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."
The husband's condition has been reduced from critical to stable and he should make a full recovery.
 

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A man and a woman are sittin' at a bar. A few minutes pass and the man realizes that the woman is upset. The man offers his shoulder by saying, "What's troubing you?"
"My husband just left me b/c he says I'm to kinky in bed."
"Wow! My wife just kicked me out b/c she says I'm to kinky in bed," the man replies.
A few minutes later back at her place the woman tells the fella she's gonna change into something a bit more comfortable. 5 minutes later she walks out in her leathers. The man is walking out the door!
"Where are you going? Aren't we going to have sex?" she asks.
"Nah! I just f**ked your dog and shit in your purse. I'm all done." :butt
 
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