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· Unleash the Beast.
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180 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I saw this on the web and thought it was hilarious! :D


To: Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3,
Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the
system whenever selected. I can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I
am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install does not
work on this program.

Can you help me, please! Thanks, Joe


Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 10
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system
once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0
and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might
also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults
(GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to
enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE.
In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will
return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the
blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances,
install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application
for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating
system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support.
 

· i read your email.
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2,903 Posts
Does Wife 1.0 come with any plug ins? I'm looking for automeal pro 9.0, Lunchpacker 6.0, and backrubber unlimited pro 7.0. Also, does anyone here have wife 1.0 that supports automatic shutdown during gpf's? Or when an instilation of Girlfriend 7.0 is running?
 
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