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I am craving sushi.
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4,302 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Found this on another board....this is some funny shiat!

I found this on one of the Nissan 4 wheeler boards Im on....its pretty good....

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I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

ME: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T .

ME: Is this AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ..

ME: This is AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

ME: Is this AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please.?

ME: May I ask who is calling.?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: Ok, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello.?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron.?

ME: May I ask who is calling, please.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: The phone company.?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

ME: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week.?

AT&T: That's right.

ME: 365 days a year.?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

ME: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance.?

AT&T: Excuse me.?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about.?

ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day,$1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme.?
I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please.?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.?

ME: Yeth.?

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

ME: Is This A T &T.?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No,actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little
brother...

AT&T: click........
 

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DAMN YOU SHANE
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14,362 Posts
that is hilarous they will not be calling you back for awhile
 

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GO CHIEFS!!!
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6,870 Posts
:lol

Too funny... They called me a few weeks ago and I told them "Sorry, but I don't have a phone."...

- BA
 

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Searching for Greener Pastures
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11,154 Posts
:lol
 

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Yes, It's true, blue is faster
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8,163 Posts
:thumbup
 

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Track Junkie
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4,774 Posts
Bwhahahhahaha

I'd love to try that, except I'd be laughing to hard to talk....I just assum pretend I don't speak english.
 

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2 beers for breakfast...
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141 Posts
ok, just pulled the best one ever! I get these calls all day at work from random sales people. When they call and ask to speak to the person in charge of whatever they are selling, i say "sorry, Mr. Bofa isn't in, may i take a message?" They always respond, "thats ok, we will try agian later." The phone rings... "hello". "hello sir may i please speak with Mr. Bofa?"
me: Who?
them: Bofa
me: who?
them: Mr. Bofa
me: Ohhhhh BOFA DEEEZ NUTS IN YO MOUTH.... Click

I think i laughed a full 5 minutes... Shwoo

I will have to try the At&t thing for sure. Just hope i have a calculator around...
 

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El Assholio Supremo del Mundo
Joined
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10,685 Posts
i usually just tell them to hold on a sec, and set the phone next to the TV.
Hours later i'll check to see if they have hung up yet.:crash
If they wait a while, i'll put porno on for them to listen to!:crash
 

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^I wish I was that pocketbike!
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2,867 Posts
ROFL!!! :D :D :D

I'm glad I only have a cell phone now and no land-line.. never have to deal with those bastiges again!!! :rock
 

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El Assholio Supremo del Mundo
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10,685 Posts
tidbit said:
kinda sad i signed up for that National Do-Not Call list :(
Yep, so now you have given your name address and phone number to every charitable organization on the planet, who btw are exempt from this list, not to mention the political parties, as well as any company you have ever done business with in the past.
That list was a joke, and was only done with the full knowl;edge it would never take effect. Now you've actually given your number to lots of companies and organizations that CAN call you. :fact

OOPS:confused:
 

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Through our bleeding...we R1
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352 Posts
R1Budha said:
Yep, so now you have given your name address and phone number to every charitable organization on the planet, who btw are exempt from this list, not to mention the political parties, as well as any company you have ever done business with in the past.
That list was a joke, and was only done with the full knowl;edge it would never take effect. Now you've actually given your number to lots of companies and organizations that CAN call you. :fact

OOPS:confused:
but you cannot be cold-called.. the list has destroyed the telemarketing industry:p
 

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El Assholio Supremo del Mundo
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10,685 Posts
A_Fire_Inside said:
but you cannot be cold-called.. the list has destroyed the telemarketing industry:p
Yes you can, by any of the groups listed.

And cold calling was never big to the NATIONAL tel-Marketing industry. Only local.

Most Tele-Marketing is for national accounts like Citi-Bank, Discover, ETC.

Or for Political parties or charities like the Red Cross, and the like.

Locally you will most often have small companies selling products like water softeners, siding, windows etc.

Or you will have small local charities like Firemans Assoc., State Patrol Benefit Assoc. Local United Way etc.

Most companies do not use cold calling as they do not get enough response to make it worth the money. Instead they buy lists from comapnies, or are instead an "Affiliate partner" with someone you do business with, ie. Discover (Novus), Amazon.com, E-bay, Paypal, etc.

The list was a joke, and has now been shown to be by it's being squashed by the very gov't that demanded it( to make the citizens happy), long enough to say that "We tried! It was that other gov't group that killed it".
Noce, but some people are smarter than that.
 

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El Assholio Supremo del Mundo
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10,685 Posts
oh and btw, what killed the telemarketing industry was the people that they hired who could not speak plain ****ing english!!!!

Thus pissing everybody off, and causing this backlash.
 
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